Living with Anxiety – Karl part 8

Now i’m sure a few are wondering why a photographer is sharing this kind of information about himself.

Isn’t this a site promoting his business prowess and how he can serve me as a customer? I hear you ask. Well yes it is, but It’s more than that, this is a platform to speak out. Im sure Lord Sugar would disagree with how I work. well he can and I will continue.

Anxiety is a strange thing, I can be sat at home quivering and decide that my next step should be to sing on Karaoke. I have no Idea why but that’s how it works (for me). Posting this stuff on the internet sort of helps me own it. It’s almost like im saying “Fuck you Anxiety, I can beat you” and that’s how I live my life.

I may seem a lesser man than most (i’ve been called far worse) but i’m fighting everyday. Just like most illnesses it differs from one person to another. I am not a shut in (some are) I leave my house (well my landscape and wildlife images would be awful if it was just my bedroom and silver fish) I’m just selective as to when I go out. I make sure I leave the house at least once everyday.

To be honest leaving the house is a nightmare, I have to make sure everything is turned off and the door is locked properly. I don’t answer the phone (you may notice there is no phone number on my site) or a knock at my door (and definitely no address). Today I was asked If I had meet any of my neighbours yet. “I said yep one, I spoke to her then she moved” I don’t think it was my fault she moved.

People who are on my facebook might think FFS Karl, why is he posting this.

Well I see facebook as a comedy platform. Nothing I post on my personal page is real (pretty much like everyone else’s, well they sometimes are, I miss my Mum!!). People read more into things than they should. Somebody posts a sad poem, then they must want to kill themselves, someone posts something yellow then it must be their favourite colour. Facebook is a fantastic thing for someone like me, it allows me to be in touch with people without having to have contact with them (I can choose when I speak, you cant in the street). It does have a downside, if I have spoke to someone on facebook and then bump into them when i’m wandering to the shop, it’s a worrying situation, I will ignore you, (I’m sorry it’s not because I’m ignorant)